Emma Saunders' story

I'm Emma from Essex, I'm 28 years old and I was diagnosed with endometriosis in February 2006 after being rushed into hospital with "suspected appendicitis" - yes that old chestnut - which turned out to be endo and a huge chocolate cyst on each ovary. I have had horrendously painful periods since the age of 13 and been pushed from pillar to Ponstan ever since, being told by my female GP it wasn't necessary to investigate until we "wanted to start a family". We've been trying to conceive for four years now, I've had two laparotomies and many laparoscopies, one unsuccessful attempt at IVF this year and an early miscarriage.

"How could surgery

and painkillers help

the emotional hole

in my heart?"

I knew IVF was in the pipeline last year, but I knew it would be a while and I wanted to spend some time trying to address any issues I could in the midst of a deep depression at the agonising stomach cramps and infertility I felt trapped by. Some part of me knew I had to get help and that wasn't to be from the medical profession at that time. I am not just my body, I am my mind, my feelings and a lot more all intertwined - how could surgery and painkillers help the daily pain and emotional hole in my heart?

So I found a nutritionist (not sure if this is classed as complementary but it complimented me!) - the very first person who actually asked what my symptoms were - and came off food containing wheat and bovine dairy, I took supplements prescribed especially for my needs, and it changed my life by my next cycle. I had red blood at last, still nasty clots but barely any cramps. I was literally reeling from this revelation, I thought pain was my lot in life and I just had to shut up and deal with it. I no longer felt listless, pale, like I was walking through treacle or going to pass out. I've been eating like this for a year now, I've found lots of wheat and dairy free alternatives to bread/pasta/cakes, I've lost four stone, so I'm no longer looked down on as clinically obese and I have found there is a life for me to have, the pain is about 10% of what it used to be, and maybe there's even a bit of happiness out there for me!

As I started to feel better, I looked into acupuncture as I have read so much about it helping IVF. I had six sessions of electro-acupuncture and needles this year. As with changing my nutrition, by my next cycle I noticed a difference in my bleeding, it was less unpleasant, fresher blood plus I felt a sense of connection with my body. Putting needles in my laparotomy scar freaked me out but it helped me come to terms with the numbness in that area.

I started having counselling in August this year after my miscarriage, and it has saved me from a fate worse than infertility. My counsellor is a man, and building up to my first session I thought how on earth is he going to understand periods, let alone my endo?!

He's helped me to see periods are only a part of me, despite feeling like they were my whole life, and that I am not a depressive person but going through a depressive episode. It feels a bit safer talking to a man about infertility as I have found it's a difficult topic for any woman, with or without children, to discuss. I thank my lucky stars for Ron!

I was also recommended reiki healing by a friend, so I made an appointment with her sister for some healing. I have really felt like I've lost any faith I ever had because of the depression I have been feeling, and reiki has helped me to relax when every fibre of my being has been rattling with stress. It is a way for me to think about myself without thinking of my (non-existent) career, housework, money, the media, annoying people; those things which bombard us every day. I have a sense of spirituality, if that's what you want to call it, and that gives me comfort. It's intangible but for me it's real and has really helped my mind and my body improve.

So, I've tried a lot this year and am still interested in seeing if anything else helps, different things work for different people. To some it may seem like I'm clutching at straws but all the complementary therapy has helped me to find myself and a glimmer of health again, to feel like maybe I can actually do something about endo. Now I know if my cysts return or the endo gets worse I've done everything in my power to help. I also feel like with my: wonderful husband, supportive friends, nutritionist, counsellor, healer, chiropractor, new endometriosis consultant, GP etc. etc. I have my own little entourage, very Madonna!

"I have found

there is a life out there

for me to have"

I've recently found a fantastic consultant who runs an endometriosis clinic and he has been totally honest with me about my options. They also found adenomyosis in my womb which would explain a lot of the pain and the only cure is a hysterectomy. For me that isn't an option, so as much as it brings home how serious endo is, I will make all the choices I can to be as healthy as possible. As I now have a reason for the pain and someone willing to help me who actually understands periods inside and out, and doesn't expect me just to 'deal with it', I feel able to live my life again.

I would be happy to raise awareness of endometriosis, I feel periods are still taboo even though without them the human race would literally stop living! I am able to talk about them openly and feel like it's my job to pass on the message that women don't deserve pain.